Herta M. Folsom

Herta Maria Folsom was born January 30, 1936, in Neu-Ulm, Germany and passed away on October 18, 2022, at the age of 86 from complications with lung cancer but having lived what she described was a blessed life. Herta is predeceased by her mother, Franziska Holzbock, her first husband William H Tucker, second husband Richard S Folsom, two daughters, Mamie Morrison and Ramona Wilson, and two sons-in-law, David Henry and Mike Slaven. Herta is survived by 9 children, Helen Henry, Mary Slaven, Rita Morrison, William (Vicky) Tucker, Carmen (David) Bakarich, William (Amanda) Tucker, Jr., Rickie Schmalz, Johanna Daugherty, Patricia (Andy) Buck, and one son-in-law John Wilson. Herta has and leaves a legacy of 11 children, 20 grandchildren, 36 great grandchildren, and 18 great-great grandchildren. While she had wanted to die at the farm where she had lived most of her adult life, she passed away in Brighton, Missouri on her son’s farm. During her last month of life, all her children and many grandchildren and great grandchildren were able to visit and say goodbye. She was never alone. A Mass of Christian Burial for Herta will be held at 10:00 am on Saturday, October 29, 2022, at St. Patrick’s Church, 1086 N. 94th St., Kansas City, Kansas. Rosary will be prayed before Mass at 9:30 am led by the Legion of Mary. Graveside Service will follow Mass at Maple Hill Funeral Home, 3300 Shawnee Dr, Kansas City, Kansas. Funeral luncheon indoor tailgate will be at 2:00 pm at Judson Baptist Church, 8300 State Ave, Kansas City, Kansas. Herta spent most of her childhood and early adulthood in Scheppach, a village in the State of Bavaria. She obtained her early childhood vocational certification in Augsburg Germany with a nurse’s training prerequisite and became a nanny to various families including a family that had a young boy with polio. She married William H Tucker, an American soldier, in Germany in 1958, and they came to the United States in 1961 with their daughter, Ramona. Herta knew what it felt to be an outsider, coming to the United States from Germany speaking limited English and knowing no one except her husband. In 1963, she was able to move closer to her sisters-in-law, Merriam Bickerstaff and Mickie Wallace, who welcomed her, taught her how to drive, and helped her with her English. Today, some describe her accent as German with a southern drawl. In 1968, she became a single parent to her 4 children. She worked as a cashier during the day and a waitress at nights and weekends. Unfortunately, her certification and training in Germany was not recognized in the United States, and her struggles with formal English prevented her from obtaining certification in the United States. Herta was able to return to early childhood education in 1972 after she obtained her GED, started working on her Associate Degree, and was able to intern and work at Let’s Pretend Daycare. This is also where she met Sharon Folsom, the person who introduced Herta to her brother-in-law, Richard, a widow with 6 children. Richard and Herta married on January 21, 1974, only one month after their first date. In 1975, they had one daughter together. The blended family was difficult the first years, financially and emotionally, with 11 people in the home, including 4 teenagers, but Herta never gave up on her new family. She said she couldn’t leave the girls; his girls needed a mom, and her boys needed a dad. She was so proud of the strong women they grew to be and ultimately became mom to the older girls as well. Richard also became dad to all. What began as his, hers, and theirs eventually became just “ours.” The reward of Richard and Herta’s commitment to their marriage is demonstrated in their family legacy. In 1979, Herta started working for Economic Opportunity Foundation Head Start as a Family Service Worker. In 1984, she became certified in Early Childhood Development and started the home-based Head Start program in Kansas City. This a forerunner for today’s Parents as Teachers Program. She eventually became Family Service Manager and Center Coordinator. Herta worked for Head Start until her retirement in 2001 when she retired to take care of Richard. While working at Head Start, Herta made many lifelong friends— Margaret Hale, Francis Holmes, Dottie Huff, Sharon Osborn, Sue Reeves, and Sally Snow to name a few. In 1980, Herta began a part-time job as a nursery worker at Judson Baptist Church and continued that job for over 40 years until her health prevented her from doing it. She took care of the infants and toddlers and considered it a blessing to watch them grow and marry and a privilege to care for the next generation. Ms. Herta was loved by all. She wrote in her album that she felt blessed to be part of Judson’s congregation. Reverend Clark visited Herta when she had major hospitalizations and surgeries and when Richard, Mamie, and Mona died. Judson truly was her other Church family. We think the Holy Spirit created the circumstances that led us to having Herta’s funeral luncheon tailgate at Judson. While working full time and raising her family, Herta continued her formal education. She earned her Associate Degree in General Studies from Kansas City Community College in 1988. She won a scholarship to attend the Kansas University Summer Institute in 1993. She resumed college courses at KCKCC in Spring 1994, at the age of 58; was accepted into Friends University in 1995; and finished her Bachelor of Science in Human Resource Management from Friends University in 1996, at the age of 60. Herta believed in empowering women. She instilled in her own daughters and granddaughters the need to be able to support their families if something were to happen. She was an active member of the American Business Women’s Association in Wyandotte County. Herta was charitable, giving to her Church and nearly every charity that asked. She never forgot her first Christmas as a single parent which she wrote was “made joyful by prayers answered through an anonymous Donor.” Richard and later Trish would throw away some of the donation requests because Herta couldn’t say “no”. When looking for a letter this past week, we found many unopened donation requests. We are convinced Herta kept them for when she would be able to contribute. We ask that memorial contributions be made to Catholic Charities as they give to all regardless of religious affiliation and as our family has been the beneficiary of this organization. Herta loved life. She loved playing games and cards, canoeing, attending sports events, tailgating at KC Chiefs games, attending games, participating in watch parties when she couldn’t attend the games, dressing up for Halloween parties, going to museums, traveling, playing with her dogs, and drinking beer and wine. She became Mom or Oma to many of our friends and extended family. Once the children were grown, Herta and Richard had some extra money to start traveling. Bob and Sharon Osborne were their traveling companions and best friends. They traveled the western states and some of the northern states. When Richard died, Bob and Sharon didn’t abandon Herta; their group just now had 3 instead of 4, and they continued traveling the states. We think the 4 of them are back together again reminiscing in Heaven. Herta and Richard also traveled with family to many places including Hawaii, Germany, South Carolina, and Kentucky. Later, Herta would travel with family members to Germany and meet up with Heidi, her best friend since kindergarten, and attend Grade School reunions. Finally, Herta traveled with family to various places throughout the United States. In the past 18 years, Herta had another main traveling companion, Anne Willliams, and they traveled to New Zealand, Australia, England, Scotland, Ireland, Austria, Belgium, and Holland. As time went on, when they couldn’t walk as far as the rest of their traveling group, they would sit and have tea and just view the people and beauty around them. Anne was both friend and taxi, getting Herta to the YMCA for Silver Sneakers and other exercise classes once she could no longer drive. Herta enjoyed a good party and enjoyed drinking wine and beer, especially European beers, with family and friends. On a rainy canoe trip, when everyone else was on the river bank seeking shelter, Herta and her canoe partner continued floating down the river in the rain holding up their beers. On their 18th birthdays, Nick and Nate said they were looking forward to their 21st birthdays, so they could go out with Oma. Earlier this year at the Shawnee Days parade, Herta’s friend Lisa Amayo thought she had 2 cold Budweiser on ice waiting for them to drink after the parade was over to celebrate their accomplishment with their Lady of Guadalupe float, but there was no beer in the cooler. Lisa thought, “who drank the 2 beers?” She asked Herta, but Herta was silent for a few minutes. Then Herta said, "Lisa, Lisa, I got thirsty honey and I drank both beers while you were driving us through the parade." Lisa said, "Why didn't you drink the cold bottled water?" Herta said as her shoulders shrugged, "Because Budweiser tastes better!!" Herta loved Family. She was an active participant in her children’s lives and then her grandchildren's lives. She volunteered at their school as a room helper, assisted with organizing PTA events/fundraising, attended multiple sporting, music, and theatre events, and traveled with them on vacations inspiring their love of travel and knowledge. However, it wasn’t just the things Herta did with them; it was the time she gave. Herta was her children’s, grandchildren’s, and great grandchildren’s biggest cheerleader and confidant. Oma kept a secret better than anyone. Herta admitted to being an onery and strong-willed child and honestly didn’t seem disappointed when she would say her grandchildren took after her in this way. Maybe this is what helped her understand them so well. Thoughts from the family: “Being the great adventurer, mom came to many of our family outings. As a soldier we've been far from home for 28 years but that never stopped her from staying with us for a month or more. She came to cheer me on for marathons and many other family fun events. She was a great fan, loving Oma, and avid traveler. Thanks momma, for always being on our team.” Son Jr “Through her actions, she taught me to be kind and giving. She was a strong independent woman and taught me to be one also. She showed me how important education was and supported me in anything I chose to do. She taught me not to give up on yourself or others. She taught me to accept people as they are. If it was not for her choosing to be my mother when I was only two, who knew where and who I would be now. She made my life, my child’s life, and everyone’s life that she met better for knowing her. Family was the most important thing for her. We had the best times with her playing games. Even though she did not always understand the rules of the game, somehow, she always won. Family is not only who you are born into but who you choose, and she chose me as her daughter, and I chose her as my mother.” Daughter Jody “She was the world. There is not a mom out there anywhere that could beat her.” Daughter Helen “Mom gave me my faith and taught me that saying ‘I forgive but I won’t forget’ is not true forgiveness. Daughter Carmen “Something I will forever cherish is how intentionally in loving and willing to pray for me while going the extra mile, particularly during my own battle with cancer. She pointed me always towards Jesus and helped me to keep my faith believing that the Lord was with me all the way until my healing fully came and all the days following.” Great granddaughter ReaCreisha “Oma had the biggest heart, and she would always share it with everyone she met. She taught me to love people deeply and to care about giving back to people. If I had questions about life, she would give me her best advice but told me no matter what she would love me. Having her around made the world light up and everyone knew her, kind of like she was famous. I couldn’t have asked for a better grandma in my life ,and I will never forget her laugh and smile. One of my favorite memories with her is at my 21st birthday when my family took me to some wine tastings, and she was so happy to share her love of wine with me. I always felt like a comedian around her because even if it was a terrible joke she always laughed and would tell me that she loved me. Her last bucket list item was to see me graduate and I am sad she won’t be there in person, but she will be watching over me and guiding me through any difficult times I have. I love Oma with all of my heart and I’m glad she is at peace.” Granddaughter Ashlyn “I will never forget the times we spent together. As a kid my grandma was always there for me. I spent much of my childhood on the farm and to this day I miss that. She will always be in my heart and that will never go away. I’m the person I am today because of her help and guidance.” Oldest grandson Michael, Jr. (Mikey) “To the one grandma/mother that I had in my life, you were my rock--the one person that I could call at any given time day or night, and you would pick up the phone. Mom, you were the one person that would always tell me that I was a strong woman and no matter where I was at that I would survive. I promise to keep the strength that you have given me to move on. This is not a goodbye; this is ‘I will see you later.’ I promise to keep making you proud. Love you always” Granddaughter Gina Herta’s Health and Last Months. Until her cancer diagnosis, Herta was the healthiest, sick person you knew. She had congestive heart failure, 4 leaking heart valves, Stage 3 kidney disease, and severe arthritis in her lower back, but this didn’t stop her from living life to the fullest and she never complained. Her doctors loved her because she did what they asked. We loved her doctors and the Heart Care Clinic because they coordinated her care and took such good care of her. When Herta was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in August, the oncologist offered chemotherapy, but Herta said she didn’t think she wanted to undergo chemotherapy. She said: “I have lived a wonderful life. I have seen my children grown, my grandchildren grown, and my great grandchildren grown. I have a beautiful family and have known love. I even have great-great grandchildren. I have traveled the world and seen the most beautiful places, places many others haven’t had the opportunity to see. I have been blessed, and I would rather have quality of life than quantity of life. I put myself in God’s hands. ” While she was still undergoing testing to identify the type of cancer and whether drug therapy was an option, Herta was busy creating her bucket list. She knew she had been blessed with a great life but that did not stop her from wanting to do more. Her most important item was a family get together. Her second most important item was her planned pilgrimage to The Shrine of Christ’s Passion with her Legion of Mary group. In the six weeks God gave her, Herta did this and more. She went to the Missouri State Fair in Sedalia, something she used to do with Richard and to have a funnel cake with Bavarian Cream. She made her pilgrimage to The Shrine of Christ’s Passion as well as 3 other Shrines over a 6-day period. One evening, she was able to enjoy a German Hefe Weizen with dinner as there is no rule that says you cannot enjoy a little beer on your pilgrimage. The car trip from Belleville to Chicago, Illinois was painful, but she never complained. While she loved the fair and her pilgrimage, she treasured more the family get together at Judson. She was surrounded by family and alert the whole day. She took great delight in seeing the youngest great grandchild playing with the great-great grandchildren. She loved seeing the adult “big kids” playing games and laughing. She loved visiting with everyone. That evening, she said it was the most wonderful day. While there were things on her bucket list she didn’t get to do and knew she wouldn’t be able to do, she didn’t complain. She thanked God for and focused on the blessings she had been given. In compiling her obituary, it was hard to find the “right” spot for her faith/religion, as it was so important to Herta and what allowed her to be “more” to all of her family and friends. Herta was a Catholic Christian Woman of God who prayed daily for family, friends, strangers, world peace, and the unborn. Herta had a special love for Mary (the Blessed Mother) and St. Jude, the patron Saint of the impossible or desperate causes. Daily, she prayed the Rosary (a prayer which centers on the events in Christ’s life) and the Divine Mercy Chaplet (a prayer that implores us to ask for Christ’s mercy and be merciful to others). She prayed especially for the salvation of the souls of her family. She felt the Blessed Mother endured the most difficult trials of any mother who had lived, and she relied upon the Blessed Mother’s strength to help her endure her own trials and provide support to her children. Though she prayed the Rosary her entire life, in 2019, she became a Legionnaire with the Legion of Mary, the largest apostolic organization of lay people in the Catholic Church with over 3 million active members throughout the world. Herta helped form the first Legion of Mary group at Providence Medical Center in Kansas City, Kansas as "Mary Health of the Sick" presidium. She held her Vice President position until her death. As a Legionnaire, Herta handed out Rosaries and Miraculous Medals and helped Father Beyuo at the hospital with holy oils used in prayers for the sick. With her fellow Legionnaires in Kansas City and Chicago, she prayed the rosary every evening for family, friends, and even strangers who needed prayers. Upon discovering she had cancer, Herta added her Miraculous Medal to one of her necklaces and wore that necklace every day she was able and even in the hospital. She requested to be buried with it and her scapular. The Blessed Mother’s promise of a happy death to those who wear the Miraculous Medal was granted to Herta. She died a holy, peaceful death surrounded by family and love. Final Thoughts “The best things in life can never be kept. They must be given away. A smile, a Kiss, and Love” Tony Farrar (Found on Herta’s Facebook Page) Love everyone-we are all God’s children. Love unconditionally--let God be the Judge. Love sacrificially—put others’ needs above your own needs. Take Time--as Herta did and as said in the following poem we found at the Shrine of Our Lady of Sorrows TAKE TIME (by Martin Greyford) Take Time to think…It is the source of power. Take Time to play…It is the secret of perpetual youth. Take Time to read…It is the fountain of wisdom. Take Time to pray…It is the greatest power on earth. Take Time to love and be loved…It is a God-given privilege. Take Time to be friendly…It is the road to happiness. Take Time to laugh…It is the music of the soul. Take Time to give…It Is too short a day to be selfish. Take Time to work…It is the price of success. Take Time to do charity…It is the key to heaven. We are so blessed that Mom/Oma/Grandma Took Time. May we imitate her example. Memorial Donations may be made to Catholic Charities of Northeast Kansas or any other charitable organization of your choosing. Herta loved all organizations that help others.

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Herta M. Folsom

January 30, 1936 - October 18, 2022